Frustration, rant and everything in between

I am almost near to the end of my placement and I thought that frustrations will not going to get under my skin again. For the nth time, I am wrong. I know that working in a developing country like Sri Lanka (and Philippines) poses many challenges rather than successes. This is exactly right and not just concatenate myths made by people like me who probably wanted sometimes to dwell on frustrations, anger, and everything that makes life difficult to live.

A week ago, I went on a field visit with the head and some staff of the organization. No, that is not exactly true; I was actually invited to attend an event of one of our community based organizations. I am not sure of the agenda or objective of the event but I went with them anyway. Not only because I want to get out of the office which is starting to suffocate me(being stuck and writing for 3 months) but also because I wanted to see and meet personally the members/beneficiaries of the organizations. Consequently, I wanted to start building up network of my organization to the district government where another VSO volunteer is working. It has been our aim for like 8 months now and it is only now its becoming realized (hope so though! Still crossing my fingers on it, LOL!).

On the way, me and my colleague were keeping updates thru text (technology really makes my life easier and quite bearable here, LOL!) as to the time and location of the event. I heard that he was invited to the event as well and he is asking me what it is all about. I could not explain to him as I don’t fully understand it myself in spite of several times I have asked the project manager as to the agenda of the event. I was only told that the Minister of Social Service is coming, that is why we need to attend and she wanted me to be there. Sigh! That is how it works sometimes. Since my time here, I have met more than one (maybe 4 or 5, can’t remember actually and I am not counting then) Ministers and other ‘big’ personality than in the Philippines. Anyway, it’s a different story; I will try if I can tell you more about it next time.

We arrived, waited for an hour or so and no minister showed up. However the social service officer arrived in behalf of him. The members of the association are already there and prepared with foods (usually of banana (all time food here), kiribat, biscuits, rice cake, etc) and some of their products being showcased in one side of the room. The ceremonies went on in sinhala of course. As I understand based on what I saw, the association is giving recognition to members who have been consistently successful in their chosen self employment and have mentored fellow members as well. A plaque of recognition is also being awarded to the Executive Director of the organization and the project manager who have unwaveringly and selflessly dedicated time and effort for the advancement of the organization’s members.

At the end of the event, my colleague arrived. After introductions, I started the discussion by opening up the idea of networking AKASA to the Regional office of health services. The purpose is to enable AKASA members to have full access to health care and services of the district including if possible trainings for family and carers’ on alternative and home based care of persons with disabilities. As a result, we all agreed to meet the Regional Director of Health Services (which is my colleague’s line manager) to propose the idea on the 2nd of February and a letter of request will be sent to formalize the meeting.

Back to the office, Monday the following week, it was the first on my agenda. I asked for a meeting with the senior management to plan our agenda and identify work cooperation as well as strategy for the meeting and the partnership. It was always difficult to arrange a meeting because what I considered as priority is not their priority. Hence, most often than not, important matters and even opportunity are missed. I was not lucky the first attempt. The day gone by without the meeting. The second day, I change my strategy, instead of meeting them I asked the project manager if the letter was prepared and if ready for posting. As expected, not yet. So I requested her to prepare the letter in sinhala and briefly tell her what should be the content and how it should be written and if she have any more questions, then she can call me anytime and with a reminder that she needs to ensure that the letter be posted that day.

Confident that it will be done, I went back to my room and started to concentrate on my work (of writing proposal again, this time for HI). The next time I saw her was when she came to the room and asked our computer operator to type the letter. Sigh, at least, that was done huh! Seems like it’s a difficult task eh, but frankly it’s not however it causes much stress that sometimes at the end of the day, I felt burnt out.

T’was on Thursday that I get lucky of cornering the three of them in a meeting, I mean in a short discussion as it was only for 30 to 45 minutes discussion. All is set I said to myself. Now I can concentrate on the proposal. The next day, when I was about to go home, my colleague informed me that she may not be going with us to the meeting. When asked why, she said that she don’t know except that the boss said that there is no need since there is another meeting that they need to attend and they cannot come back sooner. What? Wasn’t it resolved already the last time we had a talk? Was it not discussed as to who and why we all need to be there for the meeting? So I dashed back to the office and talk to the boss about why she is not coming and at the same time hastily explained why she needs to be there. The boss said okay, she will come. Satisfied I went out and off we go home (she and her family spent the week end with me, but that is a different story, again).

Week ends gone by and I am already ready with my notes in bullet points for the meeting. I waited for the call as to what time we are going to leave here but none came. Normally, the vehicle will pick me up at 5:30 therefore I need to be up at least 1 hour to prepare myself. At about 6:30, just got out from church I decided to make the call to find out the arrangement for tomorrow’s trip. Surprise, I am not going with them. F—k! Why? Just because the vehicle they hire is a car and not a van (AKASA van has been in the garage for a major engine repair) and they decided that a field officer should be there since he is the one working most of the time in those fields. Right! I don’t have a problem with the inclusion of the field officer however they should have informed me upfront. How long have they decided that I will not be coming? Alright, as Sri Lankan’s would say, “what to do?”. This is not the first time. Again, for the nth time it happened. I guess I better learn to manage my stress otherwise I may contract a hypertension here and that would do me no good. Later I will tell you how I manage my stress on situation like this, but honestly it drives me nuts.